He's beautiful
by firelight3
Summary: Johan waited for Judai's return; Judai's path was much heavier than it had ever been. Headcanons of Judai's return and his inevitable meeting with Johan, as told through narrative. Soulshipping, Spiritshipping.
1. Chapter 1

**Author note:** This story is already finished. Chapters will be uploaded once (or twice, depending on the length) per day.

He could feel it in the air: the sizzling restlessness of the evening, the way the shadows - _the Darkness, he knew, though he was unsure how_ \- played and lapped at his feet like water, the disturbance in the skies as the stars lit up the night sky, the way it seemed that darkness was arriving, rather than the light leaving. He looked up at the sky. This was a premonition, and Johan, in between worlds, on the path to the Osiris cafeteria with the Obelisk dorms behind him, knew what it meant. He grazed his hand across the empty deck holder around his waist. It was time to go to the rooftops.


	2. Chapter 2

Judai was hurting, again. Judai was hurting, and Yubel could not let that happen again. They would take all the pain, if they had to; so Yubel manifested their form around Judai with their powers, drawing from the Gentle Darkness surrounding them. Their wings enclosed Judai, the protective shield they were meant to be. Yubel was falling through space again, burning through the atmosphere again, but this time, it was okay. Judai was with them, holding their claws tightly. Lovingly.

 _So this is the pain you felt, he thought to Yubel. I'm sorry._

 _I know, Yubel replied, embracing Judai closer._


	3. Chapter 3

They landed together somewhere in the forest on the island. _Last time,_ Judai thought humorously to Yubel, _I got lost in here for days. Days!_ Yubel snorted. Their voice was still shy in the back of his mind, but Judai didn't mind. They had all the time they could possibly want to overcome that shyness. They had eternity.

The boy behind them didn't have eternity, though. Judai had heard his footsteps running up towards him as he landed, and now he turned to face him with the biggest smile he could muster.

"Shou! Wasn't today fried shrimp day?"

It took two seconds for Shou to cross the distance between them and tackle Judai in a tearful hug. Judai felt slightly uncomfortable - physical contact he didn't initiate was never in his realm of comfort - but he could bear that for Shou. He could, and would, bear anything for his friends — _I'd bear more for you, he thought to Yubel, who seemed to look away and blush_.

"Aniki!" cried Shou.


	4. Chapter 4

His friends were waiting for him, as well as a plate of fried shrimp. Judai supposed this was a fitting welcome, but he still couldn't shake off the feeling of awkwardness at his return.

"Heh… Sorry for making you wait for me!" he laughed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. Everyone in the room sat in a shocked silence - aside from Judai, who grasped at an apology, and Shou, who had presented him to the room. Suddenly, Judai's tone became serious. "I know what I did was wrong. I acted selfishly, and I acted like a child, and I caused everyone to suffer. I don't deserve your friendship like this." He bowed.

From his corner, Tyranno began to wail.

Manjoume scoffed and said, "You have a lot of apologizing to do, kid. And since when was I even your friend?!"

Asuka whacked him upside the head before handing Judai a pair of chopsticks. "Eat," she said, "You need a rest."

At her words, Yubel seemed to shuffle around in Judai's mind.

When Fubuki cheerfully threw an arm around Judai's shoulders and said, "Tell us how you managed to defeat Yubel, eh?," Yubel shuffled even more, nestling and hiding their presence as far back in Judai's soul as possible. Not that they needed to try very much; none of Judai's friends had the ability to see spirits at will.

"That's a story for another time," Judai said, between mouthfuls of fried shrimp. The food provided him an excuse to avoid talking, for now. "So - he took a moment to swallow another mouthful - everyone made it back alright?"

"Mostly," replied Fubuki. "We're all here in one piece, as are the foreign exchange students. Everyone except Amon, Misawa-kun, and…"

His voice trailed off as everyone in the room stole glances at Shou, who clenched his jaw. Judai understood; the Kaiser had not returned.

"I'm sorry, Shou," he said.

Shou managed a weak smile and waved off the apology. "Don't be," he said, "Ryou went the way he wanted in the end."

Judai nodded, hesitantly, and began to stand. He'd cleared his plate, as fast as usual, and there were still some matters he had to tend to. "I have to go talk to everyone," he said. "I'll be back."

Everyone nodded, and Judai thanked the stars they understood. As he turned to leave, Asuka called him.

"Wait!" she said. "When you see Johan, be careful with him, okay?"

When a confused expression entered Judai's face, she added, "He's been suffering… differently from the rest of us. You have to live with what you did, but he has to live with what you did for him."

There was nothing for Judai to say, so he nodded, and left.


	5. Chapter 5

He came upon O'Brien first. O'Brien seemed to have his sources - _probably some communication device with the others,_ Judai guessed - and was waiting for him just outside the Osiris dorm.

"Not easy, huh?" he asked.

"Facing them? You know I'm working on it," Judai replied.

"Well then, you might want to know where the others are," O'Brien said, "Edo already left the island, and in a bad mood too. He'd heard that Kaiser didn't come back and didn't wait another moment to leave. I'd suggest you talk to him when you're prepared to deal with his anger. Last I saw, Jim was with Karen in the forest, but they'll probably be heading here after seeing your comet. How'd you even manage that?"

"Some help from my deck," Judai responded. "And some help from my powers."

O'Brien paused to consider him carefully. "The Supreme King's powers?"

Judai hesitated. "Something of the sort," he said. It's a long story."

"And I take it you'll tell us what this story is?"

"I will. But, not for some time. I don't think everyone is ready to know yet."

He offered a tense smile, but O'Brien shook his head. "Everyone else might not be ready, but I am."

"I…" Judai faltered.

"Nice to see you, my friends!" another voice chimed in. It was Jim.

"I heard a bit of your conversation as I walked here," he said, as Karen ran up to nuzzle her face against Judai's legs, "I think it's best if you back down, Axel."

His voice was gentle, but his eye firm. Judai sent a mental note of thanks as Jim tipped his hat and winked.

"I'm sure there's someone else you've been waiting to talk to for a long time. He's usually asleep in his room around this time. Let's go, Axel."

O'Brien nodded and followed as Jim led them towards the Osiris cafeteria, leaving Judai with a sharp look. As much as he felt uncomfortable with O'Brien's glare, Judai supposed there was still much to be thankful for. O'Brien was expectant because he knew he deserved to know; not because he wanted to pry, nor because he wanted to make Judai feel particularly ashamed.

Judai turned around and walked away from the Red dorms. But instead of heading towards Obelisk, he veered towards the school; something in his gut told him - he didn't even need Winged Kuriboh to tell him, this time - that the one he was looking for was waiting on the rooftops.


	6. Chapter 6

The darkness was growing, waxing. Johan had laid atop the school rooftop since the evening; he had watched as the sky grew dark and became littered with stars. He had seen the bright, red comet as it burned its way across sky, landing somewhere on the island. He had thought that the comet's shape might have resembled — _no, it can't be, he had thought; memories flooded Johan's mind; memories that were not his; they belonged to a different soul, one that had traveled across time and space and to come here to find the one they loved —_

Finally, after hours of tired waiting, he heard the sounds of familiar footfalls behind him. They were hurried at first, but, nearing the top of the staircase leading to the roof, they slowed. Johan sat up and smiled at the hesitancy he felt, but quickly frowned as he realized that it was much more than hesitancy. It was tension that flooded the air. Three familiar presences: his deck, his friend, and —

"Yo!"

Johan didn't turn around to face him. He knew what he would see: a more angled, matured face, sharp eyes that had tasted suffering and pain, a boy who was much less a boy now, and much more a man. Instead, he patted the space next to him, gesturing for Judai to sit. The two sat in silence, staring at the stars together for the first time in what felt like forever, contemplating how far they'd come.

* * *

The darkness was growing, waxing. It soothed Judai as he entered Duel Academia's main building. Judai sighed with relief at each familiar hallway he passed through. Fresh new walls had replaced broken-in ones — _walls he'd broken in himself, walls that Neos had busted through. Johan must've felt relieved this way, too, when he came back_.

Judai sprinted down the halls and up three flights of stairs at full speed. _Johan —_ he wanted to see Johan, had wanted to so, so much for so, so long that he wasn't sure now if he was floating through a dream now. He wasn't even sure how he'd reached this point, halfway up the stairs leading directly to has favorite spot, the rooftop with the lazy, scenic view, but now that he neared the top, Judai slowed his pace.

A few more steps, and he knew he would see a blue-haired sitting alone, waiting for him, waiting _more_ for the deck that he carried with him.

Hesitantly, he took stepped forward, and Johan finally came into view. His back was slumped; Judai never saw anyone look so tired in his life. He mustered up what courage he could.

"Yo!" he said.

Johan didn't turn to face him; instead, he patted the open space right next to him. Judai swallowed, then walked forward and sat down. He wanted to reach out and hold the tired, blue-haired boy — _but he didn't, he couldn't, the last time he reached out to hold the tired, blue-haired boy, he'd watched as he was killed in his arms_ — _instead, he sat in silence with Johan, staring at the stars with Johan for the first time in what felt like forever, contemplating how far they'd come_.


	7. Chapter 7

Judai broke the silence first.

"Johan, I missed you," he said.

"I know," Johan replied softly as he turned to look at Judai fully for the first time since they'd last parted, in the other dimension. He had known what he would see (angled face, sharp eyes, maturity), but he was still shocked at the boy who sat beside him. This Judai, unlike the Judai he had imagined this last (lonely) week, was _real_ ; he was no longer a figment of Johan's imagination; he was sitting right there, in the flesh, alive, and _real_. For a moment, Johan lost his ability to think as Judai turned to look back at him; their eyes locked, and Johan could see flickers of shining gold in Judai's eyes. Entranced, he reached out to hold Judai's hand. "I missed you too," he breathed.

Their gazes remained locked for only a few more seconds before Judai looked down and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'm really sorry," he said. "Everything Yubel did was my fault. These guys - Judai pulled Johan's deck from a deck holder tied around his belt with his free hand - should never have had to go through any of that. _You_ never should have, either."

Johan was impressed by Judai's shyness now, as he held out his deck. It was as if Judai was making a peace offering; only, there was no war to be settled between them. He made no move to take his deck back. Not yet.

"Did they help you out?" he asked instead.

"Yea, they did. Rainbow Neos," responded Judai, who looked up again. "I wanted you to be there to see it."

"I will, someday," Johan promised, "I'll be the one to summon it, when that happens."

Judai felt his breath and willpower leaving as he watched Johan's tired, glittering emerald eyes in the starlight. _This Johan, unlike the Johan he had imagined these last (lonely) months, was_ real _; he was no longer a fragment of Judai's memory; he was sitting right there, in the flesh, alive, and_ real.

"You know, some say the rainbow signifies a promise," Johan continued thoughtfully. "I've been thinking a lot about that lately. Or at least, why I've been given the Crystal Gem deck. I can't help but feel that there was a reason we ended up in that world, like everything was fated to happen the way it did."

He paused. It was as if he was searching for something ( _love_ ) in Judai's eyes, something (Yubel knew) Judai couldn't give . "When I waited for you to come back this week, I realized I never felt so lonely before. There's a theory about all of this that I came up with, and I still have to work it out and all, but for now I promise you that I won't off and go sacrifice myself like that again. The others told me about what you did because of it; and I want you to let me share at least some part of that responsibility."

"But, you didn't —"

"No, Judai, we're all connected. If you've learned anything from the Dark World, it's that we affect each other in ways we can't possibly imagine." Judai looked down, but Johan continued. "What you did was wrong," he said softly, "but I forgive you. I know I don't have any right to. I don't even remember what happened after Yubel possessed my body, since I was locked away in Rainbow Dragon. But I forgive you."

There was tension Judai's face, which now contorted with expressions of rage and grief — for a moment, his eyes flickered gold — _was that a hint of orange and green?_ — and Judai, finally, _finally_ , allowed himself to weep.


	8. Chapter 8

Johan had held Judai's outstretched hand — the one holding the Crystal Beast deck — as he cried. He had embraced Judai with his other hand, held him close to his shoulder, so Judai could feel his heartbeat (in the flesh, alive, and _real_ ).

"I'm sorry," Judai had whispered, a million times — _to Johan, to his friends, to his deck, to the souls that beat within Super Fusion_ — _and Yubel was there with him, silently and softly apologizing too_ — _and Judai wanted to tell Johan how much he loved him, but_

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm here," Johan whispered back.

They held each other, afraid to let go.


	9. Chapter 9

"Thank you coming back, Judai."

The brown-haired boy nodded.

"And thanks for making sure my family came back safely too."

They stood up together, still holding hands — _just as they had when they'd met, in the same spot they'd been when they'd met — and both of them wondered, briefly, if that feeling of recognition that passed when they'd first laid eyes on each other was really the feeling of a memory, or whether it was an impression of a meeting yet to come (today's meeting, right now)_ — and managed small smiles. Small, but genuine smiles. Johan's deck was still clasped firmly between both of their hands.

"I!"

Johan watched curiously as Judai visibly struggled with the words he wished to use.

"I - I'll tell you what happened, someday," Judai said. "All of it, the complete truth, from the beginning. Even if you despise me - which you probably will, once you know - I'll tell you everything. Promise."

He nodded towards the deck.

 _And I promise I won't ever do that again - not to anyone - and I'm sorry that I did it in your name - I was selfish - and I will spend the rest of my eternity atoning, I promise, I promise._

Johan nodded back, and finally made the move to take his deck.

Immediately, he felt the warm greetings of each of the Crystal Beasts. _Hello, Johan — we missed you — we're so glad you're safe — we love you._ He greeted each of them, holding every card with reverence, sighing with relief at seeing each detail of his family again.

Johan looked back into Judai's eyes. "I need to go," he said, "I need to be alone with these guys right now." He chuckled as Judai's face fell, just a little. "I hate to leave you alone now, of all times, but you're never really alone when you have your spirit around, are you?"

"Yeah. You're right," replied Judai.

Johan smiled, offered him a quick "Gotcha!," turned, and left. Judai watched his back receding and knew: this was not the last time he would see it.


	10. Chapter 10

_That boy,_ Yubel said. They had materialized into view the moment Johan left earshot. Yubel was shuffling, their wings folding and unfolding in anxiety. _I'm sure he felt me._

Judai looked at Yubel curiously. Yubel didn't need to materialize for them to communicate; they must have felt particularly disturbed to do so. "What makes you say that?"

 _He said 'spirit.' Not 'spirits.' He wasn't referring to Winged Kuriboh, he'd say 'partner,' and he'd refer to Neos or the rest of your monsters by their names._

"Hm," Judai said, as he turned to stare back out at the black mass of the sea. He could barely make out the outline of horizon, but the sound of crashing waves soothed him nonetheless.

In his soul, he could feel Yubel's discontent. He loved Johan; there was no question about the dull ache that still throbbed in his heart. But Judai had promised Yubel his love, and after what it took for him to remember that promise, he was not about to break it. He tried to send Yubel's soul a wave of calmness.

 _He's different, somehow._

"Well, he's got the legendary Crystal Beasts, of course he's different. Are you jealous?" Judai teased.

He immediately regretted teasing when Yubel's aura flared. _I'm serious! No ordinary human can do what he did. Any human with a strong enough will can be the master of the Crystal Beasts, but that boy was strong enough to resist being possessed by me. I had to remove his entire soul to get into his body. And his spiritual eye is strong; he knew we were coming long before he could see us._

Judai hummed to himself. "Mm, he's really something." He pulled Yubel's card from his deck and held it up to the sky, smiling at the way it seemed to be framed by the stars. "You're definitely jealous."

Yubel dematerialized and nested back in his soul with an annoyed hmpf. The two of them — no, the one; they were one now and forever — shared the same thought.

 _He's beautiful._


	11. Epilogue for kicks n' giggles

**Omake**

For the first time since he'd returned, Johan did not wake up screaming from dreams of Yubel's pain. Granted, his body was covered in a cold sweat and Ruby was fidgeting with concern (as was the rest of his deck), but still, this was a marked improvement.

 _We shouldn't have left you for a second,_ Amethyst Cat snarled the moment Johan stepped out of the shower.

 _Amethyst is right,_ Cobalt Eagle chimed in, _How did you stand that pain? Alone?_

Johan, humming merrily, shrugged as he began to dry his hair. "I didn't," he explained. "Jim and O'Brien found me on the floor after the first dream. They set Asuka on me the night after that, so when I started screaming she woke me up. I didn't want to go back to sleep, so everyone's been taking turns keeping me up all night. I think I might've slept for only three hours in the past four days."

The Gem Beasts were highly unamused by Johan's cheerful disposition.

 _Three. Hours._ Topaz Tiger hissed.

"Yup!" Johan replied, "Don't tell Judai, but I was definitely falling asleep on the roof yesterday. I think I actually might've actually blanked out at some point."

 _This isn't healthy,_ Emerald Turtle mumbled, _You should go back to sleep right now._

The rest of his family echoed Emerald Turtle's sentiment. Johan, who had just finished putting on his boots, shook his head. "Nope!" he exclaimed, "I'm feeling good today. Plus, we're leaving for North Academy in a couple of days, so we better spend as much time with everyone as possible while we're still here!"

There was no puersuading the bright-eyed boy otherwise, so the Crystal Beasts just groaned and huffed and took up their favorite battle positions around him as Johan checked his appearance one last time in his mirror.

"Alright!" he exclaimed. "Let's see where the sun takes us today!"


End file.
